NuuBee
05-18-2007, 06:22 PM
This is a story from the person formerly known as Nuu-Bee on Quest Server 1. As a very small number of you know, I was banned for playing in, and taking advantage of a glitch in, the Shower Room.
About a month ago I heard people were getting banned for playing Deathmatches in the Shower Room. I assumed that was happening because the rate of kills and exp gain is far higher than any other map you could possibly play in. I had also assumed that since TDM's were slower paced, that it would be safer to play in TDM's, and that ijji would not ban because they were not doing anything about the hack that was allowing players to make rooms with maps not possible under normal circumstances. I also assumed it was okay because these rooms in question are always filled to their capacity, and there are always several of them on every channel in every server.
On May 14, 2007, I played in a Shower Room TDM, and I was having so much fun in that specific game that I played in Shower Room TDM's for the rest of the day. Throughout the day, there were plenty of uneducated players calling people using the glitch to go outside the map, "hackers." It is my belief that one of those people in question was so convinced we were hacking that they made a replay of it and sent it to ijji for review.
At around 11 PM on May 14th, after suffering a rather personal defeat in a game and after taking an hour or so off to cool down, I attempted to log into Gunz only to get the message "This User ID has been banned from Gunz Online." At first I stared long and hard at it. I was incredibly scared, and I thought that it was a mistake, or perhaps an error with my login. I closed Gunz, logged out of ijji, re-logged back in only to get the same message. Now, stricken with fear, I immediately contacted ijji with a long, descriptive message, and a plea for my account to be unbanned.
That night I didn't sleep very well. I kept having dreams about Gunz when I did, and about ijji replying to my message telling me my account was unbanned. Obviously I was disappointed to find they were just dreams when I woke up. Later in the day on May 15th, I got a reply from ijji telling me a message was already sent to my e-mail on file (different from the one I gave them to reply to). I quickly checked that inbox, and all my fears came true as I felt everything I worked for, for months, crumble in an instant.
"Reason: Unapproved 3rd Party Program Use"
I read that letter long and hard, and I couldn't believe this was actually happening. I wanted this to be just a bad dream, but it wasn't. With that letter, I made a thread on another Forum about my situation. I was sad, but angry at the same time. I worked so hard on my character, paid for Premiums, getting an incredible 83% kill ratio at level 43, and I was in the process of making a clan that was fun, yet strong. We had over 60 members, were about to start doing events, and making our clan as great as it possibly could be.
On Quest Server 1, there was always at least one person in any room I would join that knew my name, and there were always people praising me for my skill, while remaining friendly and open. I had so much fun playing Attack and Defend games, which ended up giving me that 83% ratio. I don't think a day went by when I didn't stop to think about everything I accomplished and never take it for granted. I always wondered what would happen, hypothetically, if I ever lost my account, but never really wanted to think about it because I didn't think it ever would.
That day I got the letter from ijji telling me my account was terminated, I just felt everything I had worked so hard for, and the money I spent in the process, all go to waste, just like that. Ever since then I don't feel the same as I do. Every time I think about Gunz, my heart breaks a little. And there are always things that remind me of Gunz, even things that aren't even remotely related to it. I can't stop thinking about what happened, and it's tearing me up inside. I had sent another, longer letter to ijji, this time pleading with them to overturn my ban, or at least make it a temporary ban. The reasoning I gave was that ijji made an announcement about illegal rooms on May 16th, two days after my account had gotten banned.
I tried to reason that if I had known it was not allowed to join these games, I never would have done it in the first place. The timing of this announcement hurt so much because it was just 2 days after the fact. If I had stayed away from the Shower Room for only 2 more days, I would have seen the message and said to myself, "Wow, no more Shower Room for me then." I honestly did not know joining these games were disallowed because not only were they so rampant, constantly being visible in virtually every channel and server, but these rooms were always full, which gave me the impression that they were okay to join (with the exception of Shower Room DM's which I never joined again), possibly until the specific hack being used to make these rooms was patched.
I also reasoned that the link in the announcement to the Forum post about those rooms being illegal to join, a user made a remark that said "I'd prefer if a GM makes a thread and post it on the announcements. Many players are playing these games thinking it''s okay." It is a statement I wholly agree with. But the only thing is I had never signed up on the Forums or read the posts within because I had always relied on the ijji announcements to tell me what's new. I reasoned that I believed my ban should be temporary, and/or punish me by de-leveling my character a few times which I would not have minded at all, as well as because I was a member of ijji-Gunz since its Closed Beta inception of October 06, sent in numerous replays of hackers during the epidemic in February, and was a paying member of ijji.
Several hours later, I received a reply from ijji. All throughout waiting for the reply, I couldn't think about anything else besides how and if they would respond. I had so much faith in ijji. I thought that if I sent them a well-written letter, with an apology for my mistake, and reasoning for said mistake, there would be a small chance they really would overturn my ban, and I could finally get everything back to normal and breathe a sigh of relief. However, the reply I received was as I half-expected it to be: That they would not overturn my ban. I stared at that letter, feeling defeated and heartbroken. I couldn't believe that they could refuse my honest and heartfelt letter. I thought to myself, "How many other members that got banned, the hackers or just the people that messed up big time, ever sent a letter to them in the same way I did?" I realized that some of the people that got banned, especially the hackers, didn't really care if they got banned, but that wasn't the same story for me.
But it was today when I found out ijji released a list of banned members, and found "Nuu-Bee" on there that really killed me inside. I stopped for a moment to look at the plethora of names on that list, and a specific name popped up in my head. An arrogant player that I had caught using hacks back in February. I didn't waste any time sending the replay to ijji as I had done many times before, but a wave of shock came over me when I found this member was not on the ban list, neither was his alternate account which I also reported. I couldn't believe that ijji would not ban someone as rude and arrogant, and a blatant hacker as him, and yet they would ban me, someone who cared about their account, had never used hacks, and cared about ijji. It was then I began to question my faith in them.
I really want to have faith in ijji. I loved ijji since the first day I saw the website, and thought "Wow, we're going to get all these awesome updates for Gunz," and I was so ecstatic. Every time something new was going to come out, I was very excited. For the current event, Gunz Maniac, I satisfied every one of the 3 parts of the event for quests, and I was excited about soon receiving the element coins after the event was over. Now that's just a fizzled dream, as I'll never be able to experience the event, or the hopes of getting one of the posters, shirts, or the Gunz guide. I was really looking forward to it, but now it's all gone.
I didn't want to give up. One of the first things I thought of once I realized my account was banned is that I might have to start a new account. But while I was enjoying it at first, starting over and leveling up all over again, thinking that in time I would get over my sadness, it seemed that the more time that passed, the worse I started to feel about it. All I could think about was the work I put in, the time I spent on it, my clan, the friends I made, the popularity I felt I had, all gone, and never going to come back. I missed everything I had, and the things I had looked forward to in the future regarding Gunz, and I soon began to contemplate quitting.
I asked my clan if I should just give up, because I really wanted to. I thought I should get away from Gunz, ijji, everything that happened, and try to focus on other things. They didn't want me to leave, and wanted me to try and gain back what I lost, but it continued to seem like an impossible dream. I was so proud of my 83% ratio, and kept thinking about how many people use ratio as a basis for how good people are. I realized I would probably never get such a record back, and I also thought about how I would have to pay for my Premiums all over again. I also wondered if, after I paid for the Premiums, ijji would ban me again because I was already banned in the past, and it caused me to stop in my tracks completely.
Right now I don't know what to do. I'm stuck at level 15, wondering if I should continue under the "Nuu-Bee" name, and whether or not looking at that name would constantly remind me of what I lost. I also think that if I give up on that name, it would cause me to think back on what I once had and end up hurting me again. I'm so torn, and ready to just click on the "Delete Clan" button, and let my clan members move on. But if anything really mattered to me, it's my clan. I connected with these people, not just as clanmates, but as friends. If I just leave them, I'll end up missing them. If you want raw honesty, when I came and logged in the night after I got banned on a level 1 character named "Nuu-Bee", and had one of my Admins add me into the clan, and just looked at everyone on that list, and then started to tell them what happened, I cried. I cried because I just lost everything that was truly important to me, and felt as though I let my clan down.
Yes, maybe I do have "no life." Maybe I am too addicted to Gunz. Maybe I really am an idiot, but I just can't figure out what to do. It seemed like after January, the only game I cared about was Gunz. I started playing Gunz in August 2005, and never felt so attached to it as I do right now. Maybe it is an addiction, and I can't quit. I wonder what if I try to quit and fail? I'll just be right back, feeling depressed about everything I lost, and end up staring at the login screen, with no willingness to play. Nothing else seems as interesting as it did before compared to Gunz.
I'm so sorry for what I'd done, and I wish every time I think of Gunz that this never happened. But it has, and now I'm stuck. No matter what I say can seemingly make ijji change their minds, and it breaks my heart because of all the faith I had in them is just slipping away. I keep playing alternate possibilities of May 14th in my mind. I just think if maybe I hadn't played Gunz that day, maybe played something else, or felt like trying a new game, I would have never joined those Shower Room TDM's, and I never would have gotten banned. I wish I could go back in time and change it, but I can't. I also wish that my leave from Gunz would have come because of my own decision, and not because I was banned.
I don't know what to do now, but little by little I'm trying to pull away from Gunz. I know I'll miss my clanmates, my friends, everyone I've ever met, whether friend or enemy, and everything I accomplished on Gunz. I'll miss all the fun and good times I had, not just playing Gunz, but with the people in the game.
I just don't know what to say now. I've let out everything I've felt for the past 4 days, and completely out of anything else to explain. If anyone read this entire thing, I thank you very much.
About a month ago I heard people were getting banned for playing Deathmatches in the Shower Room. I assumed that was happening because the rate of kills and exp gain is far higher than any other map you could possibly play in. I had also assumed that since TDM's were slower paced, that it would be safer to play in TDM's, and that ijji would not ban because they were not doing anything about the hack that was allowing players to make rooms with maps not possible under normal circumstances. I also assumed it was okay because these rooms in question are always filled to their capacity, and there are always several of them on every channel in every server.
On May 14, 2007, I played in a Shower Room TDM, and I was having so much fun in that specific game that I played in Shower Room TDM's for the rest of the day. Throughout the day, there were plenty of uneducated players calling people using the glitch to go outside the map, "hackers." It is my belief that one of those people in question was so convinced we were hacking that they made a replay of it and sent it to ijji for review.
At around 11 PM on May 14th, after suffering a rather personal defeat in a game and after taking an hour or so off to cool down, I attempted to log into Gunz only to get the message "This User ID has been banned from Gunz Online." At first I stared long and hard at it. I was incredibly scared, and I thought that it was a mistake, or perhaps an error with my login. I closed Gunz, logged out of ijji, re-logged back in only to get the same message. Now, stricken with fear, I immediately contacted ijji with a long, descriptive message, and a plea for my account to be unbanned.
That night I didn't sleep very well. I kept having dreams about Gunz when I did, and about ijji replying to my message telling me my account was unbanned. Obviously I was disappointed to find they were just dreams when I woke up. Later in the day on May 15th, I got a reply from ijji telling me a message was already sent to my e-mail on file (different from the one I gave them to reply to). I quickly checked that inbox, and all my fears came true as I felt everything I worked for, for months, crumble in an instant.
"Reason: Unapproved 3rd Party Program Use"
I read that letter long and hard, and I couldn't believe this was actually happening. I wanted this to be just a bad dream, but it wasn't. With that letter, I made a thread on another Forum about my situation. I was sad, but angry at the same time. I worked so hard on my character, paid for Premiums, getting an incredible 83% kill ratio at level 43, and I was in the process of making a clan that was fun, yet strong. We had over 60 members, were about to start doing events, and making our clan as great as it possibly could be.
On Quest Server 1, there was always at least one person in any room I would join that knew my name, and there were always people praising me for my skill, while remaining friendly and open. I had so much fun playing Attack and Defend games, which ended up giving me that 83% ratio. I don't think a day went by when I didn't stop to think about everything I accomplished and never take it for granted. I always wondered what would happen, hypothetically, if I ever lost my account, but never really wanted to think about it because I didn't think it ever would.
That day I got the letter from ijji telling me my account was terminated, I just felt everything I had worked so hard for, and the money I spent in the process, all go to waste, just like that. Ever since then I don't feel the same as I do. Every time I think about Gunz, my heart breaks a little. And there are always things that remind me of Gunz, even things that aren't even remotely related to it. I can't stop thinking about what happened, and it's tearing me up inside. I had sent another, longer letter to ijji, this time pleading with them to overturn my ban, or at least make it a temporary ban. The reasoning I gave was that ijji made an announcement about illegal rooms on May 16th, two days after my account had gotten banned.
I tried to reason that if I had known it was not allowed to join these games, I never would have done it in the first place. The timing of this announcement hurt so much because it was just 2 days after the fact. If I had stayed away from the Shower Room for only 2 more days, I would have seen the message and said to myself, "Wow, no more Shower Room for me then." I honestly did not know joining these games were disallowed because not only were they so rampant, constantly being visible in virtually every channel and server, but these rooms were always full, which gave me the impression that they were okay to join (with the exception of Shower Room DM's which I never joined again), possibly until the specific hack being used to make these rooms was patched.
I also reasoned that the link in the announcement to the Forum post about those rooms being illegal to join, a user made a remark that said "I'd prefer if a GM makes a thread and post it on the announcements. Many players are playing these games thinking it''s okay." It is a statement I wholly agree with. But the only thing is I had never signed up on the Forums or read the posts within because I had always relied on the ijji announcements to tell me what's new. I reasoned that I believed my ban should be temporary, and/or punish me by de-leveling my character a few times which I would not have minded at all, as well as because I was a member of ijji-Gunz since its Closed Beta inception of October 06, sent in numerous replays of hackers during the epidemic in February, and was a paying member of ijji.
Several hours later, I received a reply from ijji. All throughout waiting for the reply, I couldn't think about anything else besides how and if they would respond. I had so much faith in ijji. I thought that if I sent them a well-written letter, with an apology for my mistake, and reasoning for said mistake, there would be a small chance they really would overturn my ban, and I could finally get everything back to normal and breathe a sigh of relief. However, the reply I received was as I half-expected it to be: That they would not overturn my ban. I stared at that letter, feeling defeated and heartbroken. I couldn't believe that they could refuse my honest and heartfelt letter. I thought to myself, "How many other members that got banned, the hackers or just the people that messed up big time, ever sent a letter to them in the same way I did?" I realized that some of the people that got banned, especially the hackers, didn't really care if they got banned, but that wasn't the same story for me.
But it was today when I found out ijji released a list of banned members, and found "Nuu-Bee" on there that really killed me inside. I stopped for a moment to look at the plethora of names on that list, and a specific name popped up in my head. An arrogant player that I had caught using hacks back in February. I didn't waste any time sending the replay to ijji as I had done many times before, but a wave of shock came over me when I found this member was not on the ban list, neither was his alternate account which I also reported. I couldn't believe that ijji would not ban someone as rude and arrogant, and a blatant hacker as him, and yet they would ban me, someone who cared about their account, had never used hacks, and cared about ijji. It was then I began to question my faith in them.
I really want to have faith in ijji. I loved ijji since the first day I saw the website, and thought "Wow, we're going to get all these awesome updates for Gunz," and I was so ecstatic. Every time something new was going to come out, I was very excited. For the current event, Gunz Maniac, I satisfied every one of the 3 parts of the event for quests, and I was excited about soon receiving the element coins after the event was over. Now that's just a fizzled dream, as I'll never be able to experience the event, or the hopes of getting one of the posters, shirts, or the Gunz guide. I was really looking forward to it, but now it's all gone.
I didn't want to give up. One of the first things I thought of once I realized my account was banned is that I might have to start a new account. But while I was enjoying it at first, starting over and leveling up all over again, thinking that in time I would get over my sadness, it seemed that the more time that passed, the worse I started to feel about it. All I could think about was the work I put in, the time I spent on it, my clan, the friends I made, the popularity I felt I had, all gone, and never going to come back. I missed everything I had, and the things I had looked forward to in the future regarding Gunz, and I soon began to contemplate quitting.
I asked my clan if I should just give up, because I really wanted to. I thought I should get away from Gunz, ijji, everything that happened, and try to focus on other things. They didn't want me to leave, and wanted me to try and gain back what I lost, but it continued to seem like an impossible dream. I was so proud of my 83% ratio, and kept thinking about how many people use ratio as a basis for how good people are. I realized I would probably never get such a record back, and I also thought about how I would have to pay for my Premiums all over again. I also wondered if, after I paid for the Premiums, ijji would ban me again because I was already banned in the past, and it caused me to stop in my tracks completely.
Right now I don't know what to do. I'm stuck at level 15, wondering if I should continue under the "Nuu-Bee" name, and whether or not looking at that name would constantly remind me of what I lost. I also think that if I give up on that name, it would cause me to think back on what I once had and end up hurting me again. I'm so torn, and ready to just click on the "Delete Clan" button, and let my clan members move on. But if anything really mattered to me, it's my clan. I connected with these people, not just as clanmates, but as friends. If I just leave them, I'll end up missing them. If you want raw honesty, when I came and logged in the night after I got banned on a level 1 character named "Nuu-Bee", and had one of my Admins add me into the clan, and just looked at everyone on that list, and then started to tell them what happened, I cried. I cried because I just lost everything that was truly important to me, and felt as though I let my clan down.
Yes, maybe I do have "no life." Maybe I am too addicted to Gunz. Maybe I really am an idiot, but I just can't figure out what to do. It seemed like after January, the only game I cared about was Gunz. I started playing Gunz in August 2005, and never felt so attached to it as I do right now. Maybe it is an addiction, and I can't quit. I wonder what if I try to quit and fail? I'll just be right back, feeling depressed about everything I lost, and end up staring at the login screen, with no willingness to play. Nothing else seems as interesting as it did before compared to Gunz.
I'm so sorry for what I'd done, and I wish every time I think of Gunz that this never happened. But it has, and now I'm stuck. No matter what I say can seemingly make ijji change their minds, and it breaks my heart because of all the faith I had in them is just slipping away. I keep playing alternate possibilities of May 14th in my mind. I just think if maybe I hadn't played Gunz that day, maybe played something else, or felt like trying a new game, I would have never joined those Shower Room TDM's, and I never would have gotten banned. I wish I could go back in time and change it, but I can't. I also wish that my leave from Gunz would have come because of my own decision, and not because I was banned.
I don't know what to do now, but little by little I'm trying to pull away from Gunz. I know I'll miss my clanmates, my friends, everyone I've ever met, whether friend or enemy, and everything I accomplished on Gunz. I'll miss all the fun and good times I had, not just playing Gunz, but with the people in the game.
I just don't know what to say now. I've let out everything I've felt for the past 4 days, and completely out of anything else to explain. If anyone read this entire thing, I thank you very much.